First, I want to apologize for not posting anything for a while. I've been quite busy trying to work "The Man" into a promotion. Its tough work I know. But no more excuses.
On the eve of La Presidente's birthday, I have to share this story. Two years ago I was planning a super secret birthday party for La Presidente. I mean we are talking about quietly planning this party with out her Secret Service finding out about it. I had people coming in from all over the city and from multiple states. Well I knew the only way to make sure she never found out was to get her cronies involved, swearing them to secrecy with the penalty of no booze. They all complied of course. My main partner in the scheme was Mrs. Neighbor from Upstairs, Pre-Batman days. Lets just call her Taters. Since it was La Presidente's golden birthday the party was going to be golden themed. I mean everything gold. Gold booze, "gold" food, gold decorations. I'm mean it was like a scene out of Goldfinger. Anyways, we had to a strict itinerary we had to follow so La Presidente wouldn't have a clue about the huge shindig. First I had to plan a dinner, that I was not attending. Actually, I made Taters plan it because La Pres would catch on pretty quickly if I insisted we go to dinner. So Taters planned the whole dinner. La Pres and her friends had reservations at a hibachi restaurant while Taters and myself prepared Apt 14 for the Golden Hullabaloo. To add to the shock factor, we had Taters call La Pres and tell her she couldn't make it to dinner. Well, that didn't sit too well with La Presidente. She proceeded to start the party at the restaurant...with four bottles of wine with 4 of her friends. Mean while at Apt 14...The preparation continued. People starting showing up, and by people I mean Mr. Taters and Maverick. I freak out because people should have been at the apartment by then. I'm staying in contact with our friend 3L on how dinner was going. Then she sent me the last text I wanted to see, "We are headed back to the apt." That warranted an immediate call, which she took in a discrete place in the restaurant. I made sure she made a detour on the way back as people started showing up. And they did. A few beers, a couple shots, and a 40 later they headed back to the apartment. Ok, you might be thinking why the title of the story is titled "Twinkle, Twinkle, Golden Stars." Well I wasn't kidding when I said we had more gold in the apartment than Ft. Knox. That wasn't enough. Gold plates, gold table cloth, gold cups, gold chains, gold sunglasses, GOLD EVERYTHING. We were about to throw away the last empty bag of from the party supplies, a little glint of gold caught my eye. I was curious to see what I had missed. That was a mistake. It was a small 2x2 inch bag of gold star confetti. I was started sprinkling the stars on the tables full of chips, dip, and other edible gold goodness. That took about two pinches out of the bag. Taters, being the artistic one, took the rest of the bag and started spreading the rest of the bag all of the the carpet, couches, and floors. I tried to stop the madness which was followed by "Don't worry. We can just vacuum this up tomorrow." There was nothing else I could do. La Presidente was on stumbling her way back to the apartment. I got the phone call that they are on their way up the stairs. Lights off. Everyone hides. Door unlocks. SURPRISE!!!! Gold stars everywhere! The party was awesome. Everyone had a great time. However, we had to clean up the disaster. It was like a giant golden tornado blew through the apartment. We mopped. We straightened. We vacuumed. And vacuumed. And vacuum. Those gold stars would not come up out of the carpet. We finally conceded the fact that we were not going to pick up all of the gold stars. Months passed. We still found gold stars. A year passed. We still found gold stars. And even the other day, almost two years to the day, I STILL FIND GOLD STARS!!!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The First Story- 3 AM Guitar Hero
Where do I begin with the stories? There have been so many oozing from this apartment I honestly have no clue where to start.
Well, okay. Let me start by saying this first. The names of the people involved in any of the stories will remain a pseudo-mystery. Yes pseudo-mystery. Mostly because the people who are entangled in these adventures are our friends. We wouldn't have any of these stories if it weren't for our amazing friends joining us on our crazy drunken journeys. So to make sure they stay our friends...and keep reading the blog...we are going to use aliases for everyone. However, if you know the story or are part of the story, you will know exactly who I am talking about.
Here we go...
Everyone has their own way to "pre-game" before they go to the bars in search of cheap beers, strong shots, and an overall good time. Some people like to start with drinking games, i.e. beer pong, flip cup, or any generic college card game. These are all a great time and I love to play them. However, these are not a part of Apartment 14's pre-inebriation ritual. Guitar Hero is our game of choice. There is nothing like rocking out to classic rock artists such as Bon Jovi or Boston before a night of heavy drinking. You feel kind of like a rock star when you are jamming out and you need to take a break to down the freshly poured Jack and Coke someone just handed you, a la Michael Anthony of Van Halen. You take swigs when you have a free second while the other person is in the middle of a sick solo. The master of pre-gaming Guitar Hero solos is Nova. Every time without fail when he comes over to Apartment 14, he makes a b-line straight for the DVD carousel that holds our games and movies and evaluates which GH he wants to play. It all depends what songs he wants to hear that night. Michael Jackson? Bon Jovi? Rage Against The Machine? I usually just let him choose...because honestly I could care less. It all just gets me jumped for the night ahead of us. We play our set to make sure we aren't sober before we head to the bars...makes for a cheaper night. We play between 6-10 songs. GH usually stops when the walls start moving from screen moving and the booze. Then the night begins. Bars, booze, and beers ensue until the early hours of the morning. As everyone is stumbling around trying to find some mode of transportation to their next destination after the bars close, we stroll back to Apt 14. We are never ready to stop the party when we get back. Nova always has the awesome idea to start GH back up at 3 AM. And I'm right there with him because I didn't get enough classic rock (well who can ever get enough classic rock?) from bar around the corner. Usually by this time La Presidente and Florence NightinDrunk are already in bed. Nova and I make another drink before we are rocking out. The XBox is on. The game is in. Drinks are poured. We are ready to rock. The music starts and the screen starts moving with the notes. At this moment I know I made a terrible decision. I'm already 12 beers deep from the bars, why was it a good idea to make another drink? Do I really think I can play GH as well as I did just a few hours ago? Not a chance. I try to get through the first song. Booed off stage. Nova says a few words of encouragement. La Presidente comes out of her room to lay down the law and to tell us to turn the game off. Not a chance. Rock stars don't have rules.Next song. Booed off again. He gets that pissed look in his eyes. Third song. Booed off again...and the last time. Nova takes the guitar off with a "Fuck this." under his breath. I agree. I try to muscle down my drink so I don't break rule number three of the apartment rules. My stomach says "Nice try buddy." I stumble to my bed so I can get some sleep because I know there is going to be another Guitar Hero Concert at Apartment 14 the next night.
Well, okay. Let me start by saying this first. The names of the people involved in any of the stories will remain a pseudo-mystery. Yes pseudo-mystery. Mostly because the people who are entangled in these adventures are our friends. We wouldn't have any of these stories if it weren't for our amazing friends joining us on our crazy drunken journeys. So to make sure they stay our friends...and keep reading the blog...we are going to use aliases for everyone. However, if you know the story or are part of the story, you will know exactly who I am talking about.
Here we go...
Everyone has their own way to "pre-game" before they go to the bars in search of cheap beers, strong shots, and an overall good time. Some people like to start with drinking games, i.e. beer pong, flip cup, or any generic college card game. These are all a great time and I love to play them. However, these are not a part of Apartment 14's pre-inebriation ritual. Guitar Hero is our game of choice. There is nothing like rocking out to classic rock artists such as Bon Jovi or Boston before a night of heavy drinking. You feel kind of like a rock star when you are jamming out and you need to take a break to down the freshly poured Jack and Coke someone just handed you, a la Michael Anthony of Van Halen. You take swigs when you have a free second while the other person is in the middle of a sick solo. The master of pre-gaming Guitar Hero solos is Nova. Every time without fail when he comes over to Apartment 14, he makes a b-line straight for the DVD carousel that holds our games and movies and evaluates which GH he wants to play. It all depends what songs he wants to hear that night. Michael Jackson? Bon Jovi? Rage Against The Machine? I usually just let him choose...because honestly I could care less. It all just gets me jumped for the night ahead of us. We play our set to make sure we aren't sober before we head to the bars...makes for a cheaper night. We play between 6-10 songs. GH usually stops when the walls start moving from screen moving and the booze. Then the night begins. Bars, booze, and beers ensue until the early hours of the morning. As everyone is stumbling around trying to find some mode of transportation to their next destination after the bars close, we stroll back to Apt 14. We are never ready to stop the party when we get back. Nova always has the awesome idea to start GH back up at 3 AM. And I'm right there with him because I didn't get enough classic rock (well who can ever get enough classic rock?) from bar around the corner. Usually by this time La Presidente and Florence NightinDrunk are already in bed. Nova and I make another drink before we are rocking out. The XBox is on. The game is in. Drinks are poured. We are ready to rock. The music starts and the screen starts moving with the notes. At this moment I know I made a terrible decision. I'm already 12 beers deep from the bars, why was it a good idea to make another drink? Do I really think I can play GH as well as I did just a few hours ago? Not a chance. I try to get through the first song. Booed off stage. Nova says a few words of encouragement. La Presidente comes out of her room to lay down the law and to tell us to turn the game off. Not a chance. Rock stars don't have rules.Next song. Booed off again. He gets that pissed look in his eyes. Third song. Booed off again...and the last time. Nova takes the guitar off with a "Fuck this." under his breath. I agree. I try to muscle down my drink so I don't break rule number three of the apartment rules. My stomach says "Nice try buddy." I stumble to my bed so I can get some sleep because I know there is going to be another Guitar Hero Concert at Apartment 14 the next night.
Friday, November 12, 2010
The Rules of Apartment 14
So there are some rules we must live by here in Apartment 14. These have been developed over the last 2 plus years from various incidents. Again, like the rest of the blog we had to write them down. Here we go:
1. No boom-boom in the living room
2. Don't shit where you eat
3. You mix it, you drink it
4. Have a drinking buddy
5. Never leave the bar without your Debit/Credit card
6. Always know where you are waking up
7. Only eat the cheap frozen pizza at 3 AM
8. Always have Ibuprofen and Chocolate Milk on hand
9. Take your own set of keys with you because you never know when you are coming home
10. Never take life too seriously. You will never make it out alive.
1. No boom-boom in the living room
2. Don't shit where you eat
3. You mix it, you drink it
4. Have a drinking buddy
5. Never leave the bar without your Debit/Credit card
6. Always know where you are waking up
7. Only eat the cheap frozen pizza at 3 AM
8. Always have Ibuprofen and Chocolate Milk on hand
9. Take your own set of keys with you because you never know when you are coming home
10. Never take life too seriously. You will never make it out alive.
The Players
So much has happened in the last 2 plus years that we decided to document every moment. It normally all starts on Saturday mornings when one of the three roommates walks into the living with a shit eating grin on their face followed by the line "What the hell happened last night?" This is followed by a robust round of laughter and commentary of what we all did. After this happening weekend after weekend, we decided to share it with our friends. Because honestly, we can't make this stuff up.
So here are the players...
Donny Dingos...
An up and coming young professional in the financial world. He loves a good Bourbon...or a good Scotch...or a good Beer (insert classic rock lyrics here)...or whatever everyone else is drinking that night. He got his nickname is college from a bunch of Zards and Laxos...WOO LAX. If you ever hear Journey or Eddie Money playing at the bar, you know will see him fist pumping as if he was at the concert...which he has seen both live. He loves making new friends so join him for a drink and you might make the blog!
La Presidente...
Also an up and coming young professional however in Human Resources department...aka female Toby. She is the "sensible one"...well at least she is suppose to be the sensible one. She likes to be in control of the situation, however, after a few vodka tonics she is out of control. But everyone loves her because she will watch out for you no matter what. She is La Presidente because most of the time, what she says, goes...and a held a certain position she held in college. Even though she doesn't admit it at times, she is related to Donny Dingos. They may argue a lot, but remember, its not about who makes the better points, its who talks the loudest. So come follow La Presidente on the next campaign.
Florence Nightindrunk...aka Flo
Currently she is a student at a local higher education institution studying nursing. Though she may seem sweet, she is the quiet rebel in Apartment 14. She is quick to give you a wink of the eye and a giddy giggle...but men beware. This all is the work of a good red wine. Watch out for those drunky eyes as a result. Besides all of this, she is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. She will talk to anyone so be prepared to have her talk your ear off. She is the newest member to Apartment 14 but she is quickly following the example of the first two players very well.
Re-Occurring Characters:
- 3L - Our law school friend
- Nova- High school friend and Co- worker
- Maverick- He uses a jet mask to sleep...and he is a bad ass
- Married couple who used to lived up stairs...pre- and post- Batman
- Diva- She is invisible unless she has makeup on. Also related to Donny Dingos and La Presidente.
Names and places are subject to change...
Want to be in the blog? Then hang out with us!
Enjoy the blog!
So here are the players...
Donny Dingos...
An up and coming young professional in the financial world. He loves a good Bourbon...or a good Scotch...or a good Beer (insert classic rock lyrics here)...or whatever everyone else is drinking that night. He got his nickname is college from a bunch of Zards and Laxos...WOO LAX. If you ever hear Journey or Eddie Money playing at the bar, you know will see him fist pumping as if he was at the concert...which he has seen both live. He loves making new friends so join him for a drink and you might make the blog!
La Presidente...
Also an up and coming young professional however in Human Resources department...aka female Toby. She is the "sensible one"...well at least she is suppose to be the sensible one. She likes to be in control of the situation, however, after a few vodka tonics she is out of control. But everyone loves her because she will watch out for you no matter what. She is La Presidente because most of the time, what she says, goes...and a held a certain position she held in college. Even though she doesn't admit it at times, she is related to Donny Dingos. They may argue a lot, but remember, its not about who makes the better points, its who talks the loudest. So come follow La Presidente on the next campaign.
Florence Nightindrunk...aka Flo
Currently she is a student at a local higher education institution studying nursing. Though she may seem sweet, she is the quiet rebel in Apartment 14. She is quick to give you a wink of the eye and a giddy giggle...but men beware. This all is the work of a good red wine. Watch out for those drunky eyes as a result. Besides all of this, she is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. She will talk to anyone so be prepared to have her talk your ear off. She is the newest member to Apartment 14 but she is quickly following the example of the first two players very well.
Re-Occurring Characters:
- 3L - Our law school friend
- Nova- High school friend and Co- worker
- Maverick- He uses a jet mask to sleep...and he is a bad ass
- Married couple who used to lived up stairs...pre- and post- Batman
- Diva- She is invisible unless she has makeup on. Also related to Donny Dingos and La Presidente.
Names and places are subject to change...
Want to be in the blog? Then hang out with us!
Enjoy the blog!
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